Friday, May 1, 2009

Always a Bridesmaid...

I really like having guy friends, because they offer such a raw male perspective that you don't get from someone your dating. When you're friends, the boundaries are already established, the don't feel the need to impress you, and they realize that your friendship supersedes anything idiotic they may say. I truly believe that men and woman can just be friends - however - one or both has had the desire to sleep with the other at some point in the relationship. Said desire has never materialized and instead a friendship grew. Today I was having a deep conversation with a great guy friend. Okay, it wasn't deep, but it was about me, so it was at least interesting! He's like my brother, except he grabs my ass every now and again in a completely non-weird platonic kinda way (if ever that existed...) The topic that came up is why I'm still single, why it's so hard for me to meet men. He says 'Well, you're hot," like it's a bad thing. So, I ask for clarification..."aw, really, you do? Like how hot? Like on a scale of 1-10?" And he says, without thinking, obviously "a 7." After my, "really, a 7?" a little more thought process goes into his answer and he says, "well, with the ability to be a nine, of course, you know, when you put the effort into it." Oddly enough, I wasn't offended. Okay, so his opinion on why I'm still single. I'm hot, which we've established...and the qualities I emulate are the qualities I attract. I know that I have a strong personality. I have strong beliefs. I have a strong sense of self. If this is what I am putting out there, then it's a blessing that men who do not possess these qualities do not ask me out. One day, a guy fixing an escalator was checking me out and my friend said, "wow, it must suck...always getting hit on, but never the one they want to date." and it was tongue in cheek. But it's like always a bridesmaid, never the bride. Ugh, so while it's frustrating to still be alone, and I'm lonely and praying for my someone to show up, I'm willing to wait if it means I don't have to settle. The other night, I was cuddling with my son and he was trying to put his arm around my neck. When I asked him why he wanted to put his arm around me, he said, "because mommy, that's what boys do when they love girls." Maybe it's just as simple as that

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